Bye Bye Sugar!

Yesterday I took the first deep plunge into a sugar (fructose) free lifestyle, and gees louise, I’m pretty excited about it.

I started looking into a sugar free lifestyle about a month or two ago when someone linked me some information about David Gillepsies Sweet Poison books, which I subsequently purchased in quick succession. I was intrigued and the more I read the more everything made sense to me- my constant feeling of being out of control with food, fluctuating weight and my intense energy dips that usually occur after lunch or so- all of it could be explained my the amount of sugar in my diet, what was (is) essentially an addiction.

The more I learnt about the effects of fructose (loss of appetite control, weight gain, type 2 diabetes, POCS, heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure, gout, depression and anxiety, dementia, fatty liver disease, kidney disease and tooth decay- to name just a few gems attributed to fructose consumption) and the history behind the low fat diet, the clearer it became that my nutrition required an intense overhaul. I needed to cut fructose, cut the low fat, overly processed foods and start eating a cleaner, more savoury diet.

Since February of this year, I've lost roughly 20kgs through a calorie controlled eating program.

I'm very much an advocate for the program (as readers of this blog would surely be aware), however as my weight plateaued around 4 months ago, I can now attribute this to an increase in sugar and reliance on sugar kicks in my diet (my own doing, the program is very much balanced and low in sugar). 

At one point, I was eating almost 7 servings of fruit per day. Fruit before a workout, fruit with breakfast and then morning tea, apples after lunch, a pear when I got home before dinner and then inevitably strawberries or baked apple after dinner. I relied constantly on fruit to give me energy at work and keep me kicking into the evening. I also added honey to most of these snacks for a little extra sweetness- because of course, honey is the healthy substitute for sugar (wrong- honey is 40% Fructose). Throw in a few teaspoons of sugar in my multiple cups of tea, a few bits of dark chocolate, and my sugar consumptions would have been through the roof- well and truly over the recommended 6 teaspoons per day. 

I felt completely out of control and was probably in denial- as I tried to cut down on my fruit consumption (it was clearly way too much), I found my cravings for the more sinister forms of sugar intensified- I plowed through lollies and the like from the communal office sugar jar, would often end up picking up chocolate after work and would even buy 1 or 2 chocolate bars at the petrol station, telling myself I'd save them before scoffing them on the way home. My excess fruit intake had driven my sugar dependency through the roof- I’ve always considered myself a savoury girl (hot chips and potato chips were my original vices) and I can honestly say I've never been this reliant on sweet things in my entire life. 

Admitting you have an addiction is difficult- especially when the substance you’re addicted too is so prevalent and accepted in our society. Especially a society that promotes everything in “moderation”, which I’m beginning to think may not be the right way about it- sugar is highly addictive, a few slips here and there can cause you to spiral out of control, even when you’re just eating “good” sugars. Equally hard, yet important, is not allowing yourself to believe that you’re being deprived of anything. If anything, I’m bestowing myself with a healthy, lethargy-free, enriched lifestyle. I’ve also taken to thinking of sugar as “Slow Killing Arsenic”, whenever I’m tempted to sneak a taste.

The past few weeks I've been spending a lot of free time reading about sugar. Sarah Wilson’s eBook release last week was the clincher- the very next day I started cutting sugar out of my diet. 

I went cold turkey yesterday, after a few days of cutting out refined sugars gradually. I've stopped eating fruits for a few weeks to completely purge my system before reintroducing them (though in very small amounts). 

Today was day 2, first day back at work after the long weekend and it was hard! I was fine up until lunch, and then my daily cravings kicked in. I feel fidgety, nauseous and like my stomachs in knots. It’s as though I’m full and ravenous at the same time, which is a bizarre and a very uncomfortable feeling. 

My best piece of advice so far would be to do your research. I’ve been inadvertently preparing myself for this for weeks now. I fully understand what fructose can do to me, and I definitely know the alternatives if I don’t curb my habits now. I’ve prepared multiple lists of fructose free snacks and know many alternatives to tweak meals that would otherwise require sugar laden ingredients. I've designed kicking sugar to work for me. I know cold turkey is the best approach for me.

I’m not freaking out, and I’m trying not to make a big deal about it (although this blog might be a bit indulgent), I’m just quietly and calmly cutting out sugar.

For the most part, I’m very excited to defeat my addiction and to start reaping the benefits- I've never met sugar-free Erin before. I hope she's nice.

When it stops being about weight loss..

Hello lovelies-

So I've been on this weight loss journey for quite some time now, and its definitely had its fair share of highs and lows. Over the past few weeks, in preparation for this round, I've been thinking about what this journey means for me in the long run.
I've never felt that 12WBT was a diet, for me its definitely been a new way of life. But the benefits of eating well and exercising consistently lead to much more then weight loss- something I've only recently realised. Since losing weight, my heads clearer, I'm more confident and focused and more willing to try new things. I smile more- I still have bad days, but I manage find the time to appreciate how beautiful my life is. I love change, I love meeting new people and learning about them, whereas before I think I was much more closed and perhaps a little cynical 
I wanted to share this quote that I found recently that really resonated with me:

"Eat a clean diet because of the wonderful benefits that the food has to offer. Train with weights to shape your body and add sexy, feminine, curves as well as keep you strong, keep your metabolism high, and keep your bones strong as you age. Do your cardio to keep your heart and lungs healthy. Be healthy, be fit, train hard, and be the beautiful you! Stay in balance. Enjoy life, make the body that God has blessed you with its absolute best, laugh often and love hard. And just know, if you have the head games of “am I too big?” “Now am I too small?” “Can I eat this?” “What about that?”…. Change your thinking, break that stronghold, and know…. we’ve all been there!"
-Amanda Latona
http://www.muscleandfitnesshers.com/blogs/amand...
(Its a great article about head games, read it!)

I am so excited for this round... Because I feel like it's finally clicked with me that this lifestyle is completely sustainable, that anything is possible and the with time and balance, all things shall come to fruition!
xx

12WBT Rd 3 Pre Season Task 2. No More Excuses.

Excuses are something I got really, really good at during round 2. In fact, I think I have more excuses now then I did back in round 1 pre season. Ha!
Luckily I'm savvy enough to know when I'm bullshitting myself. I would think that the below acknowledgment of this bullshit will help me keep accountable to myself and also you, dear reader.

Internal Excuses

"But I need something sweet or I won't feel satisfied." (In reference to wanting dessert)
Have a herbal or peppermint tea, brush your teeth and drink icy water. If you're stomachs satisfied, tell your mouth to be quiet and carry on. No more snacking on fruit unless there's calories to spare.


"I feel faint/dizzy/starving, I need food NOW" (Afternoon energy crash)
Plan snack timing more effectively. Have some nuts, a piece of fruit, tuna or some ryvitas. Do not wait until after work to sneakily purchase chocolate or starchy breads. They'll only make things worse. And stay away from that stupid lolly jar.


"Oh, but I need some carbs" (In reference to the biscuit tin)
If thats the case, have a ryvita or a piece of rye toast. Do not give in to sugary starchy carbs like biscuits. They will not satiate- empty calories. Plus 6 biscuits spread out over the day still count as 6 biscuits. Stop being a goose.


"... but it's so yummy!" (In reference to dining out)
You know what else is yummy? A 6 pack and a cute toosh. Keep portions small if having a splurge and savour bites. Don't finish the plate. Stay away from rice, pasta and cheese. Don't go out starving and keep a clear head. Just because everyone else is gorging themselves, doesn't mean you're obliged to.


"I want it." (Shitty food in general)
Think about what you want more, a few moments of oral satisfaction, or a body that works properly and isn't reliant on sugar and fat to feel good? Break the cycle of wanting and having. Control yourself. It may be hard at first and you may get cranky, but it will be worth it once you're in control again.


"Can't I just lift heavy things instead of getting sweaty and gross in cycle?" (In reference to preferring pump class to spin class)
No. Whats the point of building all of that fabulous muscle if you don't burn the fat off thats currently covering it all up? Cardio works and you know it, and you even love it afterwards. Get in there and burn, baby burn. Get sweaty, who cares about greasy hair and pink cheeks.


"I havn't had enough sleep" (In reference to being a lazy bum)
Hate to break it to you, but that extra hour of sleep without exercise often leaves you feeling worse then less sleep with exercise. And you know it. No one's asking you to do extra if you're not up to it, but at least get the basics right. Get your butt out of bed, have a protein shake if necessary and get moving. Also, go to bed earlier, ninny.


External Excuses

"Works too busy to take a long lunch break for the gym"
... But what you really mean is "I hate getting home late so I'm just going to do everything in my power to leave work early". Bull. Make a sacrifice. You're in control.

"Can't eat properly tonight because I'm seeing such-and-such/ I have such-and-such to go to"

Where there's a will there's a way. Plan ahead, offer to cook. Pack extra snacks that could count as a meal. Learn to say no when things are practically thrust into your mouth. No one controls what and when you eat but you.

As you can tell, I'm a classic self-saboteur. Or shall I say I was. I no longer accept the above behaviour as my norm. No more biscuits and no more sneaky sugar. Shazam!

“It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them…Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.”
- Alex Karras

Pushing through.

Today I weighed in, only to find that I’ve gained 1.5kgs since last Wednesday. Hows that for a kick up the ass?

The cause of my plateau is a mixture of complacency, laziness and dining out too often. I am a huuuuuge lover of food. Especially food made by someone else with greater culinary skills then myself. Anyway- recently, I’ve spent a lot of time socialising, a few birthdays, a few catch ups with old friends and just generally indulging more then usual and sadly, it’s really taking its toll. I’ve been hovering around the same weight for about 6 weeks, up and down within a few 100 grms, but this week my body retaliated and stacked it on. On top of that, a mixture of boredom and hunger at work has seen me reaching for the wrong foods- biscuits (last Friday I consumed 8 of the communal biscuits over the course of the day, yes, 8), chocolate, co-workers junk food etc. Its been disastrous- my self control seems to be have been slipping slowly and its finally becoming noticeable. So its time to cut the crap, and pull everything back in to line. 

And good lord, it’s hard! My heavy handed portions have re-stretched my stomach a little, so I’m back to getting hunger pains even after something that previously left me satisfied. I’m snacking too often (I should be having 300 cals worth of snacks per day- today I almost have 500cals worth). I know I’ll get past this point- my discipline for the past 4-5 months has been impeccable (excluding the past few weeks). If I keep it up, I know I’ll be at my goal weight well before Christmas. I currently have (as of today) 14.8 kgs to lose. My trainings fantastic- burning a butt load with all my extra sessions, unfortunately its a bit all for nothing with an imperfect diet.

I’ve been getting a lot of “You’re being to hard on yourself!!” from various people lately- but really, I don’t think thats true. Right now I’m at the exact spot where I slipped a few years ago and reversed all of my hard work. I’m so determined not to let that happen again that I need to analyse myself and figure out why here- again.  I want to go further with this then I’d ever initially thought I would. I’m setting big goals for myself- and I intend to achieve them, damnit!

New Kicks.

How could I not gloat about these ;)

Training Plan-Week 10

Hardcore? Yes. Ambitious? Yes. Awesome? Yes.

Monday

• 6.20am Amelia Burton Treadmill Workout 
• 7am RPM class
• Lunchtime Yoga class

Tuesday

• 6.20am Amelia Burton Treadmill Workout
• 7am Les Mills Body Pump class (45mins)
• Lunchtime Cycle class

Wednesday

• 6.20am Amelia Burton Treadmill Workout
• 7am Boxing class OR RPM class
• Lunchtime Les Mills Body Pump class (45 mins)

Thursday

• 6.20am Amelia Burton Treadmill Workout
• 7am Les Mills Body Pump class (45mins)
• Lunchtime Boxing class

Friday

• Sleep in!
• Lunchtime Kickboxing

Saturday

• Rest!

Sunday Smash Session

• 9.15am High Performance Cycle
• 10.30am Full Body Pump class
• 
  

The treadmill workouts I've slotted in this week to a. prepare me to not kill myself on the City to Surf and b. Shake up routine.

I don't run because I've never liked it. I love the idea of it, but that love has never translated well from theory to practise. I know that can change- and I'm ready to make it happen.

Catch up

Hello neglected blog. Have you missed me pretties?
Well I'm still here, and for the most part kicking ass. I've plateued weight loss wise (I've hovered around 77-78kgs for 6 weeks now)- a lot of it comes down to what I'm putting in my mouth and a lack of rest. 
The two are linked of course- Erin doesn't sleep enough, Erin gets tired, Erin reaches for lollies/coffee/biscuits to keep energy levels peaked at work. It's an odd cycle to pick up, because even when I was obese, I never had a sugar habit persay. My vices were always fried and carbalicious- chocolate was never my thing. It's also definitely because I'm expending more energy now. For the past few weeks I've been pulling double sessions at the gym on work days- to deal with stress mainly, and to also shake up my routine a little. This means early mornings, long lunches plus staying back at work too make up hours because of my long lunches (worth it). This would be fine- however combine this with an influx of late nights due to catching up with old friends, new friends and just generally being a procrastinating douche bag- I end up running on 5-6 hours worth of (disrupted) sleep per night.
Plus I've been eating out a lot- and have been failing to say no to dessert and other delicious tidbits. My tastebuds are loving it- my butt, not so much.
So my focus for whats rest of this round (and dear god, where have the past 3 months gone??) is balance.
Yes, I still intend to go hard in my training (I'll post the weeks plan), but also intend to fuel things properly with enough sleep and good nutrition. I need to re-discipline myself in so many areas, but I know that it's possible. I managed it last round with fantastic results, I've just got to get my mental mojo back.
Bam!

My life seems so much busier then last round. Sorry for the lack of blogs! I promise I'll write something of worth soon x x

I've been trying to write a blog for 2 days straight now. Haha. I'm terrible.

-Round 2 basics-

Goals

1 Months-Lose 5kgs. Be able to run at least 1 km without stopping. Increase time on fitness test. Increase upper body weights in pump class.

3 Months- Be down to 70kgs (lose approximatley 15kgs). Be able to run 5ks. Be able to compete in City to Surf.

6 Months- Be down to a healthy weight of 65kgs. Compete in a half marathon. Begin lean and strong program.

12 Months- Maintain healthy weight. Continue working on toning and building strength, as well as running.

Commitment (or re-commitment)

"My commitment is too finish what I've started. To eat clean, train hard and think well- all with integrity and gusto. I will give myself what I deserve- a healthy life and a happy mind!"

-Day One-

Well today actually went really well! I've been feeling super frazzled with everything since before Melbourne trip, so I was anxious to get started today and have the stability of the program back in my life. I ate super clean- All Bran for breakfast with some fruit, Tuna and crackers for a snack,a fabulous Roast Beef wrap for lunch (rice cakes make me gag ;) and a beautiful salmon stirfry for tea. I did not put my toe out of line once! There shall be no complacency this round- every calorie counts!

I also managed to smash out a Cycle class, sans HRM, with a few blisters and a big case of the CBFs. But as always, JFDI won and I had a great workout- fantastic end to the day. 

I'm really excited for tomorrow- early morning Body Pump and then a boxing class with my manager at lunch, who's also joined 12WBT. It is going to be fab- boxing is one of my favourite things (someone remind me of this when I feel like I'm about to die at about 12pm tomorrow).
I have a ridiculously huge gym bag tomorrow as well to fit in the boxing gloves.. I will definitely be leaving them under my desk in future.

Anyway.. NIGHT!

Round 1 Wrap Up

Well thats Round 1 all done! I can't believe its gone by so quickly, and I'm really proud of my results.

Melbourne was a blast- the workout was a fantastic mud fest, I burnt just over 900 calories. It has reminded me that I really need to work on running though.. in the bootcamp part I had a double stitch just from running.. god it killed! Going to try and set myself clearer fitness goals this round, especially as I'm planning to run the City to Surf in August.

The party was great, but packed. I had hoped to catch up or bond with some 12WBTers who I'd been talking to on the forums, but it was literally impossible with how tightly packed the venue was. Mum and I managed to make our way downstairs (snuck down, past the grumpy seccies) and got a good spot for the awards/speeches. 

Mum and I at the party.

My outfit for the party :)

Very excited for round 2! I'll update a post with my goals once I figure them out.

Much love x

Just a quick note I'm noting on here so I'm accountable.
I want to be down to 80 kgs by kick off of round 2 (May 23, 18 days away). There I said it. Now it IS going to happen ;)

My new goal- Becoming a morning person.

So, slight confession time. I skipped spin class yesterday.. I made myself justify it with old, petty excuses. Like.. I was exhausted, hungry, I could go home and do a dvd instead (I didn't.. Haha). I bargained with myself (not new behavior) and even made a few co workers agree with me that I was too tired for a spin class. I am a dilllllllll! I knew exactly what I was doing! I posed my justification too my lazy coworkers because I knew they'd help me sabotage myself! Had I instead jumped on the forums and asked for advice, without a doubt I would have ended up in spin last night.
This kind of bargaining behavior has become to common over the past couple of weeks. My results on the scales havnt been fantastic, and I know exactly why.. I've skipped too many gym sessions, indulged into many poor foods and basically have been setting myself up for failure with my terrible sleeping patterns. I'm not being consistent.
Too combat this I've decided I need to regulate other areas of my life too better support consistency when it comes to my fitness and eating.
So, everyday I'm going to have my alarm set for 5.30am and either jump on a train to the gym or do a workout dvd in the loungeroom. I still want to make spin classes after work, but this removes the pressure from the situation and I'll be able to go for enjoyment. I think I cave quite easily when I put pressure on myself- about week 8 or 9 when I told myself I wanted to lose up to 18-20 kgs for the round I started faltering with inconsistent training sessions and too much food.
It's a weird mental barrier that I need to work out, I truly believe.that this program is the perfect place for me to be to sort ky shit out, basically. I'm over playing mind games writhing myself.
I will do this and I will reach my goal weight! Soon!

Progress

Seeing as Week 10 was such a write off I took a progress photo and I've decided its time to reflect a little and make sure I SMAAASH week 11! No more of this feeling sorry for myself. Psh.
Stats:
Kick off weight: 101.3kgs Current weight: 85.8kgs Total loss: 15.5kgs
Kick off BMI: 33.5 Current BMI: 28.83 Total loss: 4.67 points
Embarrassing undie pics:

I look at this ALOT because I still can't get over how different I look, let alone feel. I never realised just how fat I used to look. I had always convinced myself that I hid my weight well.. that I had a big butt but maybe my face and arms were ok. Wrong wrong wrong. I was obese! I'm now overweight and still have another 20 kgs to let go of, but I'm so proud of how far I've come. It feels different this time- my heads clears, I'm determined and I'm consistent. 

Cannot wait to buy a dress for Finale party and see what size I can squeeze into!

Equally excited for round 2 and helping my Mum learn the lessons I've learnt. Bring it.

This long weekend has been a huge eating fest and my most unprepared yet.
I had a few chocolates and hot cross buns Thursday, went out for Indian Friday, big family lunch Saturday that was followed by an overdose of popcorn at the movies. Yuck! I felt terrible last night, and incredibly sluggish this morning, so much so that I slept through my alarm and missed my gym session. Sigh!
I wrote out my shopping list for the week and made my way to the shops, relieved to finally restock my veggie bin, only to find that every single supermarket in the area is shut for Easter Sunday! Ludicrous.
I was so frustrated- my whole day was thrown out. I rang around all the thai places in the area for dinner, but everywhere was shut, far out. So we ended up getting Dominoes for dinner which I binged on and feel terrible about now.
I just want today to be over, to get up tomorrow, go for a run and hit the gym!
I'm going to have to work really, really hard to make sure I don't gain this week. I guess it wouldn't be the end of the world, but I'd definitely feel very disappointed. I've hit a wall this week- time to dust myself off and climb over it I suppose.

Was just perusing the web for new gym gear when I discovered the New Balance currently have a huuugeee sale on. Oh good lord. They have everything I need plus some. New tights.. new warm hoodies.. new tops.. new shoes. Every things reduced and available in my size.
If I had money in my bank account, I would be all over that like a mofo! Umph.

Life is unfair.

Sick sick sick.

I swear my body knows when I have a break coming up, because usually a week before said break I get sick. Ugh!
I spent yesterday cooking delicious food (I now have enough food in my freezer to feed Africa for a week), as Sam re arranged our apartment. With Jess, my housemate gone.. we have so much space it's ridiculous. I actually like it. I have room for Mums sewing machine now, so I've spent today looking at projects to start.
I'm really bored with our living room, theres no personality.. just alot of clutter and video games. We inherited a lovely grey couch which has flecks of red in it but at the moment it just looks drab! So the first thing I'm going to do is make some red cushions for it. I've spent today looking at colour schemes.. diy ideas and dreaming.
I also found this fabulous apron to make:

Ohh yeah. Only problem is, the closest Spotlight to here is all the way out at Castle Hill. Lame! I found a great Fabric Warehouse near central that I might try for some different prints, but for all the basics, I'm going to need to flex the old Spotlight member card.

In 12WBT news, no gym for me today- maybe some wii fit later.
On Saturday I did the "Triathalon" as was laid out to us to do. I really struggled with it, not with the workout so much as the boredom of it! I love classes and group fitness because it keeps my interest peaked.. but sitting on a stationary bike for half an hour trying to keep my interest up long enough for 10ks nearly killed me! I wish I'd chosen the triple class option instead.. or chosen to do the 3k row before my normal Saturday routine! Damnit! Haha.
I guess it goes to show that everyones different.. because the forums on Saturday were filled with members raving about how much they loved and smashed the tri.. I didn't post anything at all, I didn't even finish the 5k walk/run on the tready because I was so bored. So I feel like a bit of a cheater.
I suppose that this a learning curve for me.

Apart for that I really do hope I'm well enough for work/body pump tomorrow. As nice it is to sit around drinking tea and working out colours, I need to work overtime so that I can actually afford all the things I want to do.

Such is life.

I just watched one of my best friends board a one way flight to Perth, and my other best friend who I live with is moving out on Sunday.
It's all sudden. So sudden.
I feel so sad and lonely. Why is everyone leaving me.

:'(

I really need to stop picking at food thats not in my plan. I ate quite a few lollies today, some chips at the work BBQ. It sounds so insignificant, but its that insignificance of a few calories here and there that really adds up and led to my weight gain the first place!!!
Going to start up the good old food diary again, snack in plenty of fruits/veg and finish this thing properly!
So frustrated with myself.. I clearly have a long way to go until I can just forget about these kinds of foods and say no properly. Sighhhh!

In other news, I lost 800gms today (eek) and wore a size 12 skirt to work (YAY).

Mishs email could not have come at a better time for me.
Top 10%. I am so encouraged and proud of what I've achieved so far. I'm also a very competitive person, so it's given me a good kick up the butt for me to get as close to the top as humanly possible for me.

I had a far better day. I was umming and ahhing whether to go to pump this morning as I was still feeling  pretty sorry about myself but bit the bullet and went. SO worth it. Nothing like a pump session to make me feel good about myself again.
I also had a pretty good day at work- spent the whole morning in a Development course that focuses on what you want to get out of your career etc. It was really great and very inspiring.

So excited to get back into the gym tomorrow and kick some serious butt! I am not going home until I've burnt 1000 cals. I also hereby swear to avoid the free sausages and alcohol at tomorrows team bonding late lunch! There, I said it. This is going to be a real test.. I love food.. but I especially love free food. Mmm.
Nah uh.. I am climbing that 10% ladder baby!

 x x x x

Today was a weird day. Somewhere between waking up and arriving at work, my mood switched from my usual cheery self to someone quite sad and dejected. I bickered with my boyfriend most of the day (about money) and our trip to Melbourne. I added up my budget for the fortnight and realised it was going to be tight (again) and work was boring and unexciting.
It's important that I had a day like today though. It's been pretty smooth sailing for me since 12WBT started. I've felt so good about myself and so positive that many of my non weight related problems have seemed insignificant. I am terrible with money, and today it just seemed to catch up with me.
I made a conscious decision not to let the blues ruin my progress. I dragged myself to Cycle class, and though it was one of the worst sessions I've ever had, I still did it. I burned 550calories. I still feel a bit down, but I'm proud that I resisted the temptation to come home and eat hot chips or something and actually worked out.
Consistency was the real winner today.

Body Love

So I just finished Gok Wans book, Through Thick and Thin (pictured above, lol). So basically, I adore Gok. He's definitely one of my few heroes. He's a fantastic advocate for body love, body confidence and fashion at any size.
I attribute a lot of my style and my confidence to his philosophy and I LOVE the message he's sent to women all around the world. 

I love my body. It's not perfect, it lets me down sometimes, it doesn't look great in a tube dress, but I LOVE it anyway, because it's the only one I've got.

Being a part of 12WBT has highlighted to me just how insecure some of us are. My own weight loss has  even highighted the skewed habits and views my co workers and friends have. People compliment me on my weight loss and then either state how jealous they are, tell me that they could never do it or tell me one part of their body that they hate/would love to change/would love to cut off. I honestly find everyone I work with (and pretty much most strangers) beautiful in some way, and I feel so sad when they don't see it. 

Losing weight does not make you love your body, the barriers you lose in your head make you love your body. Understanding that this is you- you can improve it, you can become fitter, stronger, weigh less- but you are still going to be you. You're not going to turn into Katy Perry overnight!

I say, embrace individuality. Embrace who you are. Self hate is so destructive.. and its pointless. 

So, take a page out of Gok Wans book (literally) stop wasting time fretting selfishly and get out there!

You'll be amazing.

x x

Week 7 is feeling looonnnngggg

I can't believe it's only Wednesday. This week has dragged on like a mofo!

Firstly- weigh in:

Phew! No plateau yet! And I am officially under 90kgs. Yaaaaay!! Oh and I love that my loss is now a nice even 12kgs, So neat and tidy..

Following my blog about pushing harder.. find below my result after todays training:

Aww yeah :) Most I've burned in a fitness session since I got my Polar. Smashing it. 

I left work early and did 20 minutes of fast, heavy hills on the cross trainer. And then went to my regular 45 minute RPM class. Ohhh the burn. I was buggered when I got home. I flipping love it though! I keep finding myself grinning in cycle class... what a sicko aye? hahaha.

One part of my below post I havn't been sticking to is my food diary! Argh! I keep leaving it at home and then CBF updating it by the time I'm back here.

Need to come up with a new plan.

Anyway. Early morning pump class tomorrow, so I better get some rest. Upping my weights and wearing my HRM (havn't worn it in pump yet), looking forward to another tough session!

Night lovelies x x

I refuse to plateau!

This week I'm making it my aim to keep myself in check I've lost a lot of weight in a very short amount of time and I'm so determined to keep it going for as long as possible.
I have a pretty ambitious goal of losing another 10 kgs before the programs over, but to do that I know I need to keep eating clean and pushing myself harder.
Eat Clean
-Start keeping a food diary. This has been a fantastic help to me in the past, and I know that when I let the slack off my food diary, I let the slack off my food and snacked needlessly. Determined not to let that happen this time!
- Add more fruit and vegie snacks to my diet. Most of the time I've been grabbing a can of tuna or an energy bar as a snack for convenience, even though I spend a painstakingly amount of time preparing main meals. I'm still lazy with snacks.
-Keep portions at the right size. Stop eating if I'm full. Get rid of that need to finish the plate.
Train Hard
-Keep pushing myself in Cycle classes. Be honest with myself and how hard I'm really pushing. Up resistance as much as possible, work on sprints and race modes.
- Aim to burn up to 1000 calories per Cardio session. Even if this means catching later train home or having to have leftovers for dinner. JFDI.
- Do a double class of Zumba and Body Combat every Saturday.
-Start practising the plank out of the gym. Aim to be able to hold a full plank for however long is required in a class (I currently do a plank on my knees and struggle, horrible core strength).
- Have some form of gentle exercise on Sundays, gentle walk, Wii or Kinect games.
- START RUNNING AGAIN.
Revisiting my Commitment
"My commitment is to stop going backwards and start going forwards. To work hard, to stop being afraid of little sweat and a little hardwork. To stop reminiscing about who I used to be and start shaping who I'm going to be.
I'm sick of living my life on the couch, watching my life flash before me like a bland midday movie.
I'm ready to shed my weight and shift my boredom. Let life begin!"

I can do this. I know I can, I know I can, I know I can. I know I can.

I am a terrible blogger!

Every single day when I'm plodding along at work I think- must update that blog of mine tonight! But every night I get a massive case of the CBFs and go to bed. Haha.
SO what have you missed?

A bit of this:

Aand this:

Oh, aaaand this!:

YEAH! THATS RIGHT BABY! 10.8kgs GONE FOREVER in 6 WEEKS.
Woh.
I never expected this, I don't think its really sunk in how far I've come. I do however fit into size 14 work skirt now.. from SES. My old work skirts were a size 18 from Crossroads. Wow.

I've also noticed how much happier I am nowadays. I catch myself with a smile on my face 24/7, I feel like I'm finally getting out there and enjoying my life and appreciating every aspect of it. My work performance has improved considerably, I no longer get that 2pm slump that I used to need a red bull or coffee to get through. I'm more focused, I work faster and I do my best to keep everyone in high spirits.

I've conquered spin class, its killing me, but I'm burning about 750 cals per sesh, and I'm determined not to plateau anytime soon. I've got my fingers crossed to lost 10 more kilos for this round.
Anything is possible!
People at work are already calling me skinny minny, apparently I don't look my weight? Ha. So god knows what they'll be calling me when I'm at a healthy BMI level.

So thats basically a vey quick bunch of highlights from the past few weeks, I promise to be more regular in the future!!

Exhausted.

Phew. Week 3 is definitely shaping up to be a tough one. 

Weigh in this morning:

Woohooo :D 

So thats a pretty big positive this week. Can't believe that I'm already more a third of the way to my goal weight for this round!

Monday was off to a cracking start, completed my first normal cardio sesh with my HRM and burnt just over 500 cals in 45 mins. So gooood. How did I ever train without it?!

Tuesday I slept in, awaking at 6:05am (the time my train leaves). I decided to do pump class on my lunch break instead, but man oh man did it throw my whole routine out. Work was hectic, but not as hectic as North Sydney Finess First at lunch! I could barely change without elbowing someone in the boob, it was so packed. Yuck. I felt lethargic all morning, hungry after not eating all of my breakfast and just annoyed at myself for sleeping in. I also ended up staying back at work to make up time for my lunch break, so it felt like a really long day. Can't wait for my morning Pump class tomorrow morning, I never thought something that involved waking up at 5.30am would be the highlight of my week.

Today was another dud. I was less then impressed with lunch sadly, rice cakes have never been my thing. I'd much rather have one nice piece of bread or muffin as opposed to four, bland pieces of cardboard. Food that I don't enjoy always puts a downer on my mood, especially if I've prepared it myself, so I had a pretty shitty afternoon. I found myself starving, as I'd only picked at lunch,but was conscious of  eating at the right time to tide me over for my gym sesh. 

Now, this is the biggest downer on my day......

I MISSED TRAINING :( :( :(

Around 4pm today, almost the entire Cityrail network went down due to someone attempting to cause self harm at a major station. Trains came back up just in time for peakhour, but there were extensive warnings about major delays and overcrowding etc. etc. Now, normally, this wouldn't be an issue for me, fine, I'll get home a little late blah blah. BUT. Today, of all days, I left my phone at home. Now I'm not exactly a savvy public transport person. I get on the train, I get off the train, but any more then that and I panic. Especially in crowded peak hour. In fact Monday night, my train terminated suddenly at Strathfield due to another suicide, and I almost had a panic attack. Luckily my boyfriend talked me through and came to pick me up. So the thought of travelling on an altered train schedule, with no phone and thus no security was completely nerve racking.

This combined with my complete exhaustion caused me to ditch the training and go straight home.

I don't regret it, I know that I've been pushing things quite severely with work, sleep and food, so things had to falter at some point. The most important thing now is that this doesn't become a habit, which I'm sure it won't. I still feel determined through my exhaustion.

I have a few red flags coming up. Saturday I'm going to be at Future Music Festival allll day. I won't be drinking alcohol (a first for me), and it'll be a fairly active day, and from memory, food is usually hard to get a hold off due to crowds, so I might even be under calories for the day. You can't BYO food or drinks which is a shame. My main concern is dehydration. Sundays definitely going to be a kill-yourself-on-the-X-trainer-day to make up for all my missed sessions this week. 

The weekend after I'll be on annual leave (THANK GOD) and on a mini break in Nelsons Bay (no gym :S) so I'll need to do some serious planning to make sure I'm getting exercise in. 

I'll keep you posted on plans, any holiday workout ideas will be much appreciated though! At the mo, I'm thinking about getting a Mish DVD and do a little of that to keep up.

Anyway, bed is calling. Good night lovelies! x x

Oops, Catch up time!

So clearly I need to pull the reign in on this whole blog thing. Haha.
I had an exhausting, but ultimately fulfilling week. Even now, after a good nights sleep last night I feel pretty exhausted. I'm not complaining though, I know its just my body adjusting to this new lifestyle and increased activity, nap times over body! I definitely prefer exhaustion to lethargy.

A few highlights:
- Completing my first Body Combat class in 2 years for my first SSS! Smashed it! Hated seeing myself in the mirrors at the front, but forced the thought of a slim toned me punching the air instead kept me going. I did Body Combat again today for my SSS, and wearing my shiny new FT7 HRM, I burned just over 800 cals!! WOW!!!

- Survived family lunch at the RSL last Sunday, resisted the Salt and Pepper Squid as well as hot chips. So pleased.

- Made all of my gym sessions count this week. Upped my weights in Body Pump again. I'm now back at weights that I was using back in my Body Pump prime. Pretty sure I can do better now! Did some extra hill workouts on the cross trainer with all my fitness workouts this week. I enjoy it way more then the treadmill, its easier on my feet and knees, plus I seem to burn more calories on it.

- I lost 1.8kgs this week. Bringing my grand total to 5.1kgs gone. Completely chuffed! Its so refreshing to know that I'm finally treating my body right. I feel content, proud and excited.

- The comments are starting to flow! I walked into work on Monday and my manager remarked that I looked like I'd slimmed down. Everyone at work has been really encouraging, and I think some of them might be thinking about doing Round 2. Chain reaction, haha. As well as that, I've noticed that quite a few of my work shirts are getting noticably baggy around the midsection. I'm a pear, so I've lost most of the weight on my belly, thank god. I don't mind having a bit of curve around the back, but a big tummy was driving me crazy! Of course I still have another 30kgs to lose, but I'm being sure to take note of these small changes too keep me going.

- I can feel my guns again! I'm constantly flexing my arms and tensing my thighs to see how toned my muscles are getting. Love it!

-Another week of amazing foods, and my stomach is finally shrinking down to portion size. Apart from a mishap with the servings of the pumpkin red curry, I think I'm doing really, really well with food. The only thing I need to work on is snacks. At work I tend to starve myself a bit til lunch or dinner. I know this is no good, and I simply need snacks to make up my calories. I'm going to make sure I include snacks in my shopping list, then there'll be no excuse!

Except for the exhaustion, there haven't really been any lowlights this week. And I'm planning to fight energy dips with vitamins. Recommendations appreciated!

Alright team, hopefully I'll update a little more regularly this week..

Lots of love x x x

Day 5

Haaappy Friday Blog!
Had a pretty great day, tried yoga for the first time today and loved it! I was having a pretty stressful morning so it was the perfect day to take a break at 1 and just stretch all the stress away.
I was surprised at how much some of the poses hurt, I can feel my abs ache every time I move which is good. The lesson flew by, and I especially enjoyed the meditation phase. What a fantastic way to lead into the weekend.
I was a little disappointed with lunch today (Cranberry and Turkey wrap).. it just didn't do it for me. I ended up buying a skinny mango smoothie from Boost after lunch for a snack, so I felt a little more satisfied then.
Dinner was almost a disaster. I'd roasted my sweet potato and preapred my capsicum for the pita pizzas, only to discover that my packet of pitas was completely full of yucky mould. Ughh. Luckily I had two small white pitas leftover from Boyfriends pizzas.
Really can't wait to inherit Mums big tuckerbox freezer. We have a tiny fridge to cater for myself, boyfriend and our housemate. Its getting a bit tight. I'm forever throwing out bread because of mould. Yuck yuck yuck.

Played Biggest Loser on Wii for most of the evening and burned a surprising 200ish more calories. The box fit exercises get pretty intense. Still hanging to buy Zumba fo Kinect though. I may never leave the house again. Lol.

Plan for Super Saturday:
10:30am. Body Combat Class.
11:00-12pm. C25K. Bike program. Xtrainer sprints.
Lunch.
Fitness test (eek!) Hopefully won't be to exhausted for it!
Ahh can't wait. Really keen to just push myself tomorrow. I know I need to up the bar a little, some of the 12WBTers in the forums are doing crazy amounts of exercise! Such great encouragement's.

Sweet dreams x x

Day 3/4

So clearly not into the daily swing of things yet. :P
Well good news! Weighted in yesterday morning and I was....
98 KILOES!! Woohoo! 3.3 Kiloes gone! Such an incredible resort for such a short space of time, can' t wait for the next 11 weeks!
Apart from that, I've had a good couple of days. Had a great cardio workout yesterday afternoon- loosely followed Mish's exercise plan, 5 mins warm up, C25K session week 1 and then a 10 minute hill program on the bike. I'm feeling really great about the C25K program. I was actually surprised about how focused I am when running, I think I actually got into the zone yesterday! I'm keen to get a HRM from polar next week, I'm not burning near enough calories, I need to figure out what my benchmark is for Cardio.
Up early again this morning for a body pump class. Upped my weights again as I still don't think I'm pushing hard enough. My train was late this morning, so I ended up right in front of the instructor.. talk about awkward! I also had to stare at my own groggy reflection the whole class ugh! Haha.
The food has of course been wonderful.. I think a goal for next week is too work on my snacks a bit more. I've just been having some apple or crackers with vegemite. Bit bland really.Though today I hardly felt hungry until home time, so maybe my stomachs finally shrinking?! Yay!
I bought an awesome pair of scales today from Aldi for $9.99. I'm a girl who loves her bargains ;)

Looking forward to Yoga tomorrow! It'll be my first session ever. A friend from work was supposed to go with me, but he's suspiciously off work tomorrow. Hmmmmm. Anyway, hopefully I don't embarrass myself to obscenely. I'm a bit excited.
OH in other news, my boyfriend bought a xBox with Kinect today! It's really fun... I'm planning on buying Zumba for it when I get paid so that I can do thissss:

Of course, I know games like this don't count as a full workout, but it'll be interesting to see how much you burn just from doing them. Theres lots of jumping and running on the spot etc etc.

Week two's menu plan looks fabulous, I'm particularly looking forward to the prawns and the two desserts. Nomnonmnonmnonmnom.

Anyway, bed awaits.

Night xx

Day 1/2

Well now that the uncomfortable first blog is out of he way, I think I'll reflect on the past couple of days.

I went to bed Sunday night so, so excited for day 1. I prepared my delicious carrot tabouli sunday night in preparation for Monday lunch. I've been enjoying this new ritual already. Lunch for me used to be a footlong from subway ("healthy") or some thai takeaway from my favourite shop (thai's low fat right? lol). Occasionally I'd take in leftovers, but nothing that required too much effort or inconvenienced me.
Making these beautiful lunches over the past two days has already given me such joy. I love cooking. Especially if the foods tasty. I can already tell that food is what I'm going to excel at.

Monday night I went to spin, the second one I've attended at my new gym. Now, I did this class about a month ago and hated it. It made me sick, I felt like I was the largest person there.. everyone else was athletic and beautiful looking. The instructor was a brash man, and at my breaking point I felt like running up to his little platform and ripping is head off! I honestly couldn't keep up with the rest of the class and felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb. It was a terrible experience, and even though I felt a great rush of endorphins afterwards, I still felt upset at my lack of fitness and my inability to keep up.
Monday, I had the exact same experience! I don't know what I'd though would change, as since that initial class I'd only done a few Pump classes. I felt so down about the whole thing. How did I let myself get to this level of fitness?
I got up early this morning and did a 7am Pump class as therapy. I upped my weights in every track and worked really hard.
I've resolved that I'm going to stick to Mishs excersise plans, as I clearly need a bit more work then I thought at first. I've done one session of the C25K program and plan to do day 2 tomorrow, so I'm hoping that thats a direction that helps me keep pushing my boundaries my own way. In hindsight, I think my keen-ness to do classes everyday was me wanting to take an easy way out. Classes meant that I'd have someone else there pushing me, telling me what to do, how hard to go. But I think its important for me to start taking responsibility, to regain my focus and actually earn that hot body that I'm striving for.
So heres to tomorrow! A new day!

Obligatory first post..

Hello avid blog reader.
So I've decided that I really need to start a blog to better map my progress. I don't believe that seeing the kilos drop off each week will be enough for me to maintain my new healthy lifestyle. I also want to look back at my blog as a 65kg version of myself to see how far I've come!
So a bit about me, I initially wrote this a few weeks before the 12WBT started as part of a pre season task;


My names Erin, I'm 19 and currently have a most unsatisfactory BMI.
I currently live and work in Sydney as an Administrator for an Insurance company. Even though I'm only 19 I've already gotten into a yo yo pattern with my weight. I joined my first gym when I was 17 and loved it, I lost about 30 kilos through their in house weight loss program and felt amazing, inside and out. My weight started to pile on when I turned 18 and trekked off to university to study fine arts. My alcohol intake increased, my sleeping patterns became disjointed and my student budget led to cheap nasty foods. I was stressed and miserable, the university lifestyle was definitely not for me.
I quit uni last year in pursuit of a real job in the real world. For the first 6 months of my job I lived on the coast, 2 hours each way on the train. Those months of commuting took their final toll on my body- I was constantly exhausted and ill and completely unmotivated. I cancelled my gym membership, and essentially gave up.

Thankfully though, I moved to Sydney a few months ago and feel like its time to take control of my life again..
I've joined a new gym near work with a butt load of classes and I'm already making efforts to eat more vegies and less hot chips (my weakness). I'm sleeping more, exercising more and now have more time to love my life.


A friend at work got me onto the 12 Week Body Transformation. I'm hoping that through this program I can kickstart my weight loss and start building my life the way it should be. I'm so excited to get started and get back to that 17 year old Erin who was healthy, happy and motivated. 


Thats a brief history.. stay tuned for more!


Love x x