This long weekend has been a huge eating fest and my most unprepared yet.
I had a few chocolates and hot cross buns Thursday, went out for Indian Friday, big family lunch Saturday that was followed by an overdose of popcorn at the movies. Yuck! I felt terrible last night, and incredibly sluggish this morning, so much so that I slept through my alarm and missed my gym session. Sigh!
I wrote out my shopping list for the week and made my way to the shops, relieved to finally restock my veggie bin, only to find that every single supermarket in the area is shut for Easter Sunday! Ludicrous.
I was so frustrated- my whole day was thrown out. I rang around all the thai places in the area for dinner, but everywhere was shut, far out. So we ended up getting Dominoes for dinner which I binged on and feel terrible about now.
I just want today to be over, to get up tomorrow, go for a run and hit the gym!
I'm going to have to work really, really hard to make sure I don't gain this week. I guess it wouldn't be the end of the world, but I'd definitely feel very disappointed. I've hit a wall this week- time to dust myself off and climb over it I suppose.

Was just perusing the web for new gym gear when I discovered the New Balance currently have a huuugeee sale on. Oh good lord. They have everything I need plus some. New tights.. new warm hoodies.. new tops.. new shoes. Every things reduced and available in my size.
If I had money in my bank account, I would be all over that like a mofo! Umph.

Life is unfair.

Sick sick sick.

I swear my body knows when I have a break coming up, because usually a week before said break I get sick. Ugh!
I spent yesterday cooking delicious food (I now have enough food in my freezer to feed Africa for a week), as Sam re arranged our apartment. With Jess, my housemate gone.. we have so much space it's ridiculous. I actually like it. I have room for Mums sewing machine now, so I've spent today looking at projects to start.
I'm really bored with our living room, theres no personality.. just alot of clutter and video games. We inherited a lovely grey couch which has flecks of red in it but at the moment it just looks drab! So the first thing I'm going to do is make some red cushions for it. I've spent today looking at colour schemes.. diy ideas and dreaming.
I also found this fabulous apron to make:

Ohh yeah. Only problem is, the closest Spotlight to here is all the way out at Castle Hill. Lame! I found a great Fabric Warehouse near central that I might try for some different prints, but for all the basics, I'm going to need to flex the old Spotlight member card.

In 12WBT news, no gym for me today- maybe some wii fit later.
On Saturday I did the "Triathalon" as was laid out to us to do. I really struggled with it, not with the workout so much as the boredom of it! I love classes and group fitness because it keeps my interest peaked.. but sitting on a stationary bike for half an hour trying to keep my interest up long enough for 10ks nearly killed me! I wish I'd chosen the triple class option instead.. or chosen to do the 3k row before my normal Saturday routine! Damnit! Haha.
I guess it goes to show that everyones different.. because the forums on Saturday were filled with members raving about how much they loved and smashed the tri.. I didn't post anything at all, I didn't even finish the 5k walk/run on the tready because I was so bored. So I feel like a bit of a cheater.
I suppose that this a learning curve for me.

Apart for that I really do hope I'm well enough for work/body pump tomorrow. As nice it is to sit around drinking tea and working out colours, I need to work overtime so that I can actually afford all the things I want to do.

Such is life.

I just watched one of my best friends board a one way flight to Perth, and my other best friend who I live with is moving out on Sunday.
It's all sudden. So sudden.
I feel so sad and lonely. Why is everyone leaving me.

:'(

I really need to stop picking at food thats not in my plan. I ate quite a few lollies today, some chips at the work BBQ. It sounds so insignificant, but its that insignificance of a few calories here and there that really adds up and led to my weight gain the first place!!!
Going to start up the good old food diary again, snack in plenty of fruits/veg and finish this thing properly!
So frustrated with myself.. I clearly have a long way to go until I can just forget about these kinds of foods and say no properly. Sighhhh!

In other news, I lost 800gms today (eek) and wore a size 12 skirt to work (YAY).

Mishs email could not have come at a better time for me.
Top 10%. I am so encouraged and proud of what I've achieved so far. I'm also a very competitive person, so it's given me a good kick up the butt for me to get as close to the top as humanly possible for me.

I had a far better day. I was umming and ahhing whether to go to pump this morning as I was still feeling  pretty sorry about myself but bit the bullet and went. SO worth it. Nothing like a pump session to make me feel good about myself again.
I also had a pretty good day at work- spent the whole morning in a Development course that focuses on what you want to get out of your career etc. It was really great and very inspiring.

So excited to get back into the gym tomorrow and kick some serious butt! I am not going home until I've burnt 1000 cals. I also hereby swear to avoid the free sausages and alcohol at tomorrows team bonding late lunch! There, I said it. This is going to be a real test.. I love food.. but I especially love free food. Mmm.
Nah uh.. I am climbing that 10% ladder baby!

 x x x x

Today was a weird day. Somewhere between waking up and arriving at work, my mood switched from my usual cheery self to someone quite sad and dejected. I bickered with my boyfriend most of the day (about money) and our trip to Melbourne. I added up my budget for the fortnight and realised it was going to be tight (again) and work was boring and unexciting.
It's important that I had a day like today though. It's been pretty smooth sailing for me since 12WBT started. I've felt so good about myself and so positive that many of my non weight related problems have seemed insignificant. I am terrible with money, and today it just seemed to catch up with me.
I made a conscious decision not to let the blues ruin my progress. I dragged myself to Cycle class, and though it was one of the worst sessions I've ever had, I still did it. I burned 550calories. I still feel a bit down, but I'm proud that I resisted the temptation to come home and eat hot chips or something and actually worked out.
Consistency was the real winner today.

Body Love

So I just finished Gok Wans book, Through Thick and Thin (pictured above, lol). So basically, I adore Gok. He's definitely one of my few heroes. He's a fantastic advocate for body love, body confidence and fashion at any size.
I attribute a lot of my style and my confidence to his philosophy and I LOVE the message he's sent to women all around the world. 

I love my body. It's not perfect, it lets me down sometimes, it doesn't look great in a tube dress, but I LOVE it anyway, because it's the only one I've got.

Being a part of 12WBT has highlighted to me just how insecure some of us are. My own weight loss has  even highighted the skewed habits and views my co workers and friends have. People compliment me on my weight loss and then either state how jealous they are, tell me that they could never do it or tell me one part of their body that they hate/would love to change/would love to cut off. I honestly find everyone I work with (and pretty much most strangers) beautiful in some way, and I feel so sad when they don't see it. 

Losing weight does not make you love your body, the barriers you lose in your head make you love your body. Understanding that this is you- you can improve it, you can become fitter, stronger, weigh less- but you are still going to be you. You're not going to turn into Katy Perry overnight!

I say, embrace individuality. Embrace who you are. Self hate is so destructive.. and its pointless. 

So, take a page out of Gok Wans book (literally) stop wasting time fretting selfishly and get out there!

You'll be amazing.

x x

Week 7 is feeling looonnnngggg

I can't believe it's only Wednesday. This week has dragged on like a mofo!

Firstly- weigh in:

Phew! No plateau yet! And I am officially under 90kgs. Yaaaaay!! Oh and I love that my loss is now a nice even 12kgs, So neat and tidy..

Following my blog about pushing harder.. find below my result after todays training:

Aww yeah :) Most I've burned in a fitness session since I got my Polar. Smashing it. 

I left work early and did 20 minutes of fast, heavy hills on the cross trainer. And then went to my regular 45 minute RPM class. Ohhh the burn. I was buggered when I got home. I flipping love it though! I keep finding myself grinning in cycle class... what a sicko aye? hahaha.

One part of my below post I havn't been sticking to is my food diary! Argh! I keep leaving it at home and then CBF updating it by the time I'm back here.

Need to come up with a new plan.

Anyway. Early morning pump class tomorrow, so I better get some rest. Upping my weights and wearing my HRM (havn't worn it in pump yet), looking forward to another tough session!

Night lovelies x x

I refuse to plateau!

This week I'm making it my aim to keep myself in check I've lost a lot of weight in a very short amount of time and I'm so determined to keep it going for as long as possible.
I have a pretty ambitious goal of losing another 10 kgs before the programs over, but to do that I know I need to keep eating clean and pushing myself harder.
Eat Clean
-Start keeping a food diary. This has been a fantastic help to me in the past, and I know that when I let the slack off my food diary, I let the slack off my food and snacked needlessly. Determined not to let that happen this time!
- Add more fruit and vegie snacks to my diet. Most of the time I've been grabbing a can of tuna or an energy bar as a snack for convenience, even though I spend a painstakingly amount of time preparing main meals. I'm still lazy with snacks.
-Keep portions at the right size. Stop eating if I'm full. Get rid of that need to finish the plate.
Train Hard
-Keep pushing myself in Cycle classes. Be honest with myself and how hard I'm really pushing. Up resistance as much as possible, work on sprints and race modes.
- Aim to burn up to 1000 calories per Cardio session. Even if this means catching later train home or having to have leftovers for dinner. JFDI.
- Do a double class of Zumba and Body Combat every Saturday.
-Start practising the plank out of the gym. Aim to be able to hold a full plank for however long is required in a class (I currently do a plank on my knees and struggle, horrible core strength).
- Have some form of gentle exercise on Sundays, gentle walk, Wii or Kinect games.
- START RUNNING AGAIN.
Revisiting my Commitment
"My commitment is to stop going backwards and start going forwards. To work hard, to stop being afraid of little sweat and a little hardwork. To stop reminiscing about who I used to be and start shaping who I'm going to be.
I'm sick of living my life on the couch, watching my life flash before me like a bland midday movie.
I'm ready to shed my weight and shift my boredom. Let life begin!"

I can do this. I know I can, I know I can, I know I can. I know I can.