Day 1/2

Well now that the uncomfortable first blog is out of he way, I think I'll reflect on the past couple of days.

I went to bed Sunday night so, so excited for day 1. I prepared my delicious carrot tabouli sunday night in preparation for Monday lunch. I've been enjoying this new ritual already. Lunch for me used to be a footlong from subway ("healthy") or some thai takeaway from my favourite shop (thai's low fat right? lol). Occasionally I'd take in leftovers, but nothing that required too much effort or inconvenienced me.
Making these beautiful lunches over the past two days has already given me such joy. I love cooking. Especially if the foods tasty. I can already tell that food is what I'm going to excel at.

Monday night I went to spin, the second one I've attended at my new gym. Now, I did this class about a month ago and hated it. It made me sick, I felt like I was the largest person there.. everyone else was athletic and beautiful looking. The instructor was a brash man, and at my breaking point I felt like running up to his little platform and ripping is head off! I honestly couldn't keep up with the rest of the class and felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb. It was a terrible experience, and even though I felt a great rush of endorphins afterwards, I still felt upset at my lack of fitness and my inability to keep up.
Monday, I had the exact same experience! I don't know what I'd though would change, as since that initial class I'd only done a few Pump classes. I felt so down about the whole thing. How did I let myself get to this level of fitness?
I got up early this morning and did a 7am Pump class as therapy. I upped my weights in every track and worked really hard.
I've resolved that I'm going to stick to Mishs excersise plans, as I clearly need a bit more work then I thought at first. I've done one session of the C25K program and plan to do day 2 tomorrow, so I'm hoping that thats a direction that helps me keep pushing my boundaries my own way. In hindsight, I think my keen-ness to do classes everyday was me wanting to take an easy way out. Classes meant that I'd have someone else there pushing me, telling me what to do, how hard to go. But I think its important for me to start taking responsibility, to regain my focus and actually earn that hot body that I'm striving for.
So heres to tomorrow! A new day!