To love..

I adore The Biggest Loser. It inspires me, makes me cry, makes me smile and reminds me of the power we each hold to change and shape our lives as we please. Yet, I struggle with the premise and the strong theme this season of being unable to fall in love if you’re obese. It's true; obesity is a horrible, taxing struggle on both the body and mind, and the contestants on this show are riddled with numerous health issues and perils. My heart breaks for these people... the disturbing revelations of complete lack of self confidence, the vulnerability... and the idea of hating yourself so deeply? Terrifying. 

But respect and love for ones self should be promoted as paramount in any journey of self-improvement. To hate yourself, or too feel shame or humiliation will only cause more pain and anguish. That is what builds walls against love… the inability to accept the core of who you are. Obesity is often a symptom of some serious hate and destruction.

Nourish and nurture yourself. Punishment and internal suffering will only ever lead to a cycle of regret and heartbreak.

Treat yourself kindly; believe that you are worth loving and capable of loving. Fulfilment in life comes from respect for ones body, mind and soul. The rest will follow.

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2011 was a big year. The biggest year, dare I say.

It was the year I found my strength. It was a year defined by triumph, hard decisions, a slither of peril and ultimately, love.

As proud as I am of my physical transformation this year (I’m currently 24kgs lighter then I was this time last year, say whaaaaat?), I can’t help but feel that my changes to my “inner self” were far more exciting than the shrinking of my butt.

I found myself this year. Defined myself. Grew. I’ve always been confident, I’ve always been assured and independent and I suppose, happy. But I’ve never had direction. I’ve never known what I truly wanted from life. I feel now as though I was a drifter, waiting for fate or the hands of god to drop a destiny in my lap and push me on my merry way. Alas, finding truth and meaning in life takes slightly more effort than that.

2011 was the year I woke up from the lethargic yuckiness that was my life. I was unfit, ate what I wanted and took a lot of comfort in carbs and alcohol. I ignored the future, I buried my feelings. I don’t know who I was.

At some point there was an awakening- a realisation of how the gradual changes to my lifestyle had peeled away those layers of discomfort and sadness and revealed a new Erin.

Being active, being healthy and being happy are my new necessities. I feel like I’ve learnt so much this year about health, wellbeing and how to truly love and appreciate my body. I’ve learnt that knowledge is power, so often people have no idea what they’re eating. I believe that food awareness is paramount to good health and it’s incredibly satisfying to nurture your body properly. My body is not a trash can- it’s a machine that will run like a dream if I fuel it well.

On top of all of that, I’ve met some incredible, fabulous, amazing, beautiful people this year- you inspire me every single day to push myself that little extra, go further, train harder and become a better person. I sincerely hope you know who you are, but lets just say I love my #twitterfamily, and I’m proud of each and every one of you. Too one person in particular, with whom I am especially smitten with-  I love you more than a few words on a blog could ever fully express and you are beyond wonderful.

My new interest in health and nutrition will lead to new and exciting endeavours in 2012- I’m planning to commence an Advanced Diploma of Nutritional Medicine in March, as well as starting the 12WBT Lean and Strong program this round. All of that will definitely bring some new challenges and hurdles and excitement.

"I am the master of my fate;

   I am the captain of my soul."

-William Ernest Henley-