I'm back!

I've decided to start blogging again to keep myself accountable and back on track with my general health and fitness.
Long story short.. Since I last blogged, I've gained roughly 10 kgs and have seriously slackened with my fitness. My eating is indulgent to say the least, but I have managed to cut down on the amount of alcohol I've been consuming. I've attached my soon to be before photo ( or at least I think I have, I'm writing this on my phone) in the hope that taking progress shots will keep me on track and striving.
At the end of the day, I'm a very confident person, but I hate the ickiness and general unwellness that comes with being overweight and not in control of my eating. I suppose my aim with this blog is to keep track of my food, exercise and general well being.

Goals:
-Commit to 3 weights training sessions per week, and 2 boot camps. Boot camp is a mix of resistance, body weight exercises and boxing.. It's where I do all of my cardio, basically
-Lose the 10kgs I've gained over the next 3 months. Lose 2 dress sizes and regain my shape.

I'll post proper measurements etc over the next few days.

Looking forward to getting back on track, and feeling like the young fit 20 something I was 8 months ago.
Xoxo

To love..

I adore The Biggest Loser. It inspires me, makes me cry, makes me smile and reminds me of the power we each hold to change and shape our lives as we please. Yet, I struggle with the premise and the strong theme this season of being unable to fall in love if you’re obese. It's true; obesity is a horrible, taxing struggle on both the body and mind, and the contestants on this show are riddled with numerous health issues and perils. My heart breaks for these people... the disturbing revelations of complete lack of self confidence, the vulnerability... and the idea of hating yourself so deeply? Terrifying. 

But respect and love for ones self should be promoted as paramount in any journey of self-improvement. To hate yourself, or too feel shame or humiliation will only cause more pain and anguish. That is what builds walls against love… the inability to accept the core of who you are. Obesity is often a symptom of some serious hate and destruction.

Nourish and nurture yourself. Punishment and internal suffering will only ever lead to a cycle of regret and heartbreak.

Treat yourself kindly; believe that you are worth loving and capable of loving. Fulfilment in life comes from respect for ones body, mind and soul. The rest will follow.

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2011 was a big year. The biggest year, dare I say.

It was the year I found my strength. It was a year defined by triumph, hard decisions, a slither of peril and ultimately, love.

As proud as I am of my physical transformation this year (I’m currently 24kgs lighter then I was this time last year, say whaaaaat?), I can’t help but feel that my changes to my “inner self” were far more exciting than the shrinking of my butt.

I found myself this year. Defined myself. Grew. I’ve always been confident, I’ve always been assured and independent and I suppose, happy. But I’ve never had direction. I’ve never known what I truly wanted from life. I feel now as though I was a drifter, waiting for fate or the hands of god to drop a destiny in my lap and push me on my merry way. Alas, finding truth and meaning in life takes slightly more effort than that.

2011 was the year I woke up from the lethargic yuckiness that was my life. I was unfit, ate what I wanted and took a lot of comfort in carbs and alcohol. I ignored the future, I buried my feelings. I don’t know who I was.

At some point there was an awakening- a realisation of how the gradual changes to my lifestyle had peeled away those layers of discomfort and sadness and revealed a new Erin.

Being active, being healthy and being happy are my new necessities. I feel like I’ve learnt so much this year about health, wellbeing and how to truly love and appreciate my body. I’ve learnt that knowledge is power, so often people have no idea what they’re eating. I believe that food awareness is paramount to good health and it’s incredibly satisfying to nurture your body properly. My body is not a trash can- it’s a machine that will run like a dream if I fuel it well.

On top of all of that, I’ve met some incredible, fabulous, amazing, beautiful people this year- you inspire me every single day to push myself that little extra, go further, train harder and become a better person. I sincerely hope you know who you are, but lets just say I love my #twitterfamily, and I’m proud of each and every one of you. Too one person in particular, with whom I am especially smitten with-  I love you more than a few words on a blog could ever fully express and you are beyond wonderful.

My new interest in health and nutrition will lead to new and exciting endeavours in 2012- I’m planning to commence an Advanced Diploma of Nutritional Medicine in March, as well as starting the 12WBT Lean and Strong program this round. All of that will definitely bring some new challenges and hurdles and excitement.

"I am the master of my fate;

   I am the captain of my soul."

-William Ernest Henley-

Bye Bye Sugar!

Yesterday I took the first deep plunge into a sugar (fructose) free lifestyle, and gees louise, I’m pretty excited about it.

I started looking into a sugar free lifestyle about a month or two ago when someone linked me some information about David Gillepsies Sweet Poison books, which I subsequently purchased in quick succession. I was intrigued and the more I read the more everything made sense to me- my constant feeling of being out of control with food, fluctuating weight and my intense energy dips that usually occur after lunch or so- all of it could be explained my the amount of sugar in my diet, what was (is) essentially an addiction.

The more I learnt about the effects of fructose (loss of appetite control, weight gain, type 2 diabetes, POCS, heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure, gout, depression and anxiety, dementia, fatty liver disease, kidney disease and tooth decay- to name just a few gems attributed to fructose consumption) and the history behind the low fat diet, the clearer it became that my nutrition required an intense overhaul. I needed to cut fructose, cut the low fat, overly processed foods and start eating a cleaner, more savoury diet.

Since February of this year, I've lost roughly 20kgs through a calorie controlled eating program.

I'm very much an advocate for the program (as readers of this blog would surely be aware), however as my weight plateaued around 4 months ago, I can now attribute this to an increase in sugar and reliance on sugar kicks in my diet (my own doing, the program is very much balanced and low in sugar). 

At one point, I was eating almost 7 servings of fruit per day. Fruit before a workout, fruit with breakfast and then morning tea, apples after lunch, a pear when I got home before dinner and then inevitably strawberries or baked apple after dinner. I relied constantly on fruit to give me energy at work and keep me kicking into the evening. I also added honey to most of these snacks for a little extra sweetness- because of course, honey is the healthy substitute for sugar (wrong- honey is 40% Fructose). Throw in a few teaspoons of sugar in my multiple cups of tea, a few bits of dark chocolate, and my sugar consumptions would have been through the roof- well and truly over the recommended 6 teaspoons per day. 

I felt completely out of control and was probably in denial- as I tried to cut down on my fruit consumption (it was clearly way too much), I found my cravings for the more sinister forms of sugar intensified- I plowed through lollies and the like from the communal office sugar jar, would often end up picking up chocolate after work and would even buy 1 or 2 chocolate bars at the petrol station, telling myself I'd save them before scoffing them on the way home. My excess fruit intake had driven my sugar dependency through the roof- I’ve always considered myself a savoury girl (hot chips and potato chips were my original vices) and I can honestly say I've never been this reliant on sweet things in my entire life. 

Admitting you have an addiction is difficult- especially when the substance you’re addicted too is so prevalent and accepted in our society. Especially a society that promotes everything in “moderation”, which I’m beginning to think may not be the right way about it- sugar is highly addictive, a few slips here and there can cause you to spiral out of control, even when you’re just eating “good” sugars. Equally hard, yet important, is not allowing yourself to believe that you’re being deprived of anything. If anything, I’m bestowing myself with a healthy, lethargy-free, enriched lifestyle. I’ve also taken to thinking of sugar as “Slow Killing Arsenic”, whenever I’m tempted to sneak a taste.

The past few weeks I've been spending a lot of free time reading about sugar. Sarah Wilson’s eBook release last week was the clincher- the very next day I started cutting sugar out of my diet. 

I went cold turkey yesterday, after a few days of cutting out refined sugars gradually. I've stopped eating fruits for a few weeks to completely purge my system before reintroducing them (though in very small amounts). 

Today was day 2, first day back at work after the long weekend and it was hard! I was fine up until lunch, and then my daily cravings kicked in. I feel fidgety, nauseous and like my stomachs in knots. It’s as though I’m full and ravenous at the same time, which is a bizarre and a very uncomfortable feeling. 

My best piece of advice so far would be to do your research. I’ve been inadvertently preparing myself for this for weeks now. I fully understand what fructose can do to me, and I definitely know the alternatives if I don’t curb my habits now. I’ve prepared multiple lists of fructose free snacks and know many alternatives to tweak meals that would otherwise require sugar laden ingredients. I've designed kicking sugar to work for me. I know cold turkey is the best approach for me.

I’m not freaking out, and I’m trying not to make a big deal about it (although this blog might be a bit indulgent), I’m just quietly and calmly cutting out sugar.

For the most part, I’m very excited to defeat my addiction and to start reaping the benefits- I've never met sugar-free Erin before. I hope she's nice.

When it stops being about weight loss..

Hello lovelies-

So I've been on this weight loss journey for quite some time now, and its definitely had its fair share of highs and lows. Over the past few weeks, in preparation for this round, I've been thinking about what this journey means for me in the long run.
I've never felt that 12WBT was a diet, for me its definitely been a new way of life. But the benefits of eating well and exercising consistently lead to much more then weight loss- something I've only recently realised. Since losing weight, my heads clearer, I'm more confident and focused and more willing to try new things. I smile more- I still have bad days, but I manage find the time to appreciate how beautiful my life is. I love change, I love meeting new people and learning about them, whereas before I think I was much more closed and perhaps a little cynical 
I wanted to share this quote that I found recently that really resonated with me:

"Eat a clean diet because of the wonderful benefits that the food has to offer. Train with weights to shape your body and add sexy, feminine, curves as well as keep you strong, keep your metabolism high, and keep your bones strong as you age. Do your cardio to keep your heart and lungs healthy. Be healthy, be fit, train hard, and be the beautiful you! Stay in balance. Enjoy life, make the body that God has blessed you with its absolute best, laugh often and love hard. And just know, if you have the head games of “am I too big?” “Now am I too small?” “Can I eat this?” “What about that?”…. Change your thinking, break that stronghold, and know…. we’ve all been there!"
-Amanda Latona
http://www.muscleandfitnesshers.com/blogs/amand...
(Its a great article about head games, read it!)

I am so excited for this round... Because I feel like it's finally clicked with me that this lifestyle is completely sustainable, that anything is possible and the with time and balance, all things shall come to fruition!
xx

12WBT Rd 3 Pre Season Task 2. No More Excuses.

Excuses are something I got really, really good at during round 2. In fact, I think I have more excuses now then I did back in round 1 pre season. Ha!
Luckily I'm savvy enough to know when I'm bullshitting myself. I would think that the below acknowledgment of this bullshit will help me keep accountable to myself and also you, dear reader.

Internal Excuses

"But I need something sweet or I won't feel satisfied." (In reference to wanting dessert)
Have a herbal or peppermint tea, brush your teeth and drink icy water. If you're stomachs satisfied, tell your mouth to be quiet and carry on. No more snacking on fruit unless there's calories to spare.


"I feel faint/dizzy/starving, I need food NOW" (Afternoon energy crash)
Plan snack timing more effectively. Have some nuts, a piece of fruit, tuna or some ryvitas. Do not wait until after work to sneakily purchase chocolate or starchy breads. They'll only make things worse. And stay away from that stupid lolly jar.


"Oh, but I need some carbs" (In reference to the biscuit tin)
If thats the case, have a ryvita or a piece of rye toast. Do not give in to sugary starchy carbs like biscuits. They will not satiate- empty calories. Plus 6 biscuits spread out over the day still count as 6 biscuits. Stop being a goose.


"... but it's so yummy!" (In reference to dining out)
You know what else is yummy? A 6 pack and a cute toosh. Keep portions small if having a splurge and savour bites. Don't finish the plate. Stay away from rice, pasta and cheese. Don't go out starving and keep a clear head. Just because everyone else is gorging themselves, doesn't mean you're obliged to.


"I want it." (Shitty food in general)
Think about what you want more, a few moments of oral satisfaction, or a body that works properly and isn't reliant on sugar and fat to feel good? Break the cycle of wanting and having. Control yourself. It may be hard at first and you may get cranky, but it will be worth it once you're in control again.


"Can't I just lift heavy things instead of getting sweaty and gross in cycle?" (In reference to preferring pump class to spin class)
No. Whats the point of building all of that fabulous muscle if you don't burn the fat off thats currently covering it all up? Cardio works and you know it, and you even love it afterwards. Get in there and burn, baby burn. Get sweaty, who cares about greasy hair and pink cheeks.


"I havn't had enough sleep" (In reference to being a lazy bum)
Hate to break it to you, but that extra hour of sleep without exercise often leaves you feeling worse then less sleep with exercise. And you know it. No one's asking you to do extra if you're not up to it, but at least get the basics right. Get your butt out of bed, have a protein shake if necessary and get moving. Also, go to bed earlier, ninny.


External Excuses

"Works too busy to take a long lunch break for the gym"
... But what you really mean is "I hate getting home late so I'm just going to do everything in my power to leave work early". Bull. Make a sacrifice. You're in control.

"Can't eat properly tonight because I'm seeing such-and-such/ I have such-and-such to go to"

Where there's a will there's a way. Plan ahead, offer to cook. Pack extra snacks that could count as a meal. Learn to say no when things are practically thrust into your mouth. No one controls what and when you eat but you.

As you can tell, I'm a classic self-saboteur. Or shall I say I was. I no longer accept the above behaviour as my norm. No more biscuits and no more sneaky sugar. Shazam!

“It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them…Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.”
- Alex Karras